selfpreservationist | [imeeji] IC inbox

I was stupid... [ she kicks a cart of tools and sends it sailing across the shop to explode a bunch of stuff all over the floor. ]

[he wraps his arms around her from behind and holds her]

You weren't stupid. You aren't.

[ she's tense and shaking. ]

I'm going to end up alone.

Nobody needs me. Not when they have somebody else. People better and more capable.

[ looks at her hands. ] I'm sure I was corrupted long before I got to hell...

[a tad sharp]

Dva. Snap out of it.

[ she sinks down to the ground and cups her hands over her face as she just openly sobs. she doesn't care about hiding it right now. ]

[well he's going down with her, then]

You know that... isn't true. You're in pain... and you have every right to be. Cry if you need to. Scream if you need to. This feeling... is proof that you are human, down to your very core.

I... I can't. I'm not allowed. I have to lock it away. If I feel too much, then I fucken change! [ she's going to punch the floor again and again and again, because she really just doesn't know what else to do right now. her knuckles eventually become bloodied, and that's when she stops. ]

I... just want to stop hurting inside...

[he's going to try and stop her, going to attempt to hold her arms back if he can]

Stop this! You can't keep running away from it!

[ he’ll be able to stop her. ]

I’m... sad, and I’m tired of pretending I’m not.

It’s been one thing after another after another and I... I just...

He asked me what I wanted out of a relationship. I want something that can compliment me. Like, complete me and make me whole. And I want to be able to do the same for them.

[tries to turn her around so he can face her properly]

You aren't wrong for wanting that. He... decided he couldn't be that for you. You're right to be hurt by that.

And that I can’t be that for him.

[ immediately thunks her head on his shoulder. ]

It hurts so freaking much, because, like, he was one of the first people I liked here and... one of the first I... fell for... [ brings her arms around him and clings desperately. ]

[holds her]

I know.

...

I thought I knew what I was doing.

[ coils her tail around him for some more clinging. ]

I guess I still have a lot to learn. I want to be better.

That's fine if you want to be. But you don't always have to be the one improving.

...I certainly don’t like upsetting you.

I’m trying to have a little more self control, so you don’t have to worry as much.

... thank you. I appreciate it.

I just... want you to know that... it's okay to be hurt. No one would blame you.

[ she just nods. ]

It’d help if this place slowed down so I could process everything but whatever. Thanks though, ... [ digs her nails in briefly for one last desperate clinging and then sits back a bit. ]

[holds her close]

What was it you said to me before? That you wanted me to figure out.

[ she coils her tail around him and holds him closely. ]

Are you... talking about the thing that I said or, uh, something else?

The thing you said to me in Korean while we were fighting the monsters.

Just... making sure. I'm guessing you... figured it out...?

I didn't. I'm asking you to tell me.

...oh. I, ah, I said dahng-shin-ups-shee moht-sahl-ah-yoh a- and that means... I can't live without you.

... I see.

[pets her hair]

... [ she leans back a bit, so he can't pet her as easily. ] You see?

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