selfpreservationist | [imeeji] IC inbox

... I see.

[pets her hair]

... [ she leans back a bit, so he can't pet her as easily. ] You see?

[lowers his hand]

I see.

[ her tail starts easing up on him. ] ...ok.

Dva.

It's a lot to think about. And it isn't as though I don't return your feelings or want to rely on you... it's just something I have to think about.

I know. I'm not asking you to dig that deep now or... anytime soon. Or... ever, I guess. I just... needed to say it, but I was also kind of worried, which is why I said it in Korean. [ because he wouldn't understand. ] I like what we have. And you definitely make me feel loved, and that's all I can really ask for, so it's fine.

I do love you. Don't ever doubt that.

[ it's kind of hard not to doubt that a little bit when two and a half of your relationships just sort of fell to pieces. ]

[ nods. ] ...something else I, ah, kind of wanted to... mention. [ time to coil her tail around herself instead. ] Nero knew what sort of stuff I had planned for endgame. And I know things with you may be kind of uncertain, because of... y- yeah. Anyway. I plan to stay here indefinitely, because replacing Lady Death has been my aim since my arrival. Regardless of what happens between us I want you to know that I'll fight tooth & nail to keep you your own... you. And if you want to stay I'll keep you from coming to harm.

... he did mention that to me. Do you really think you can do it? Replace her, I mean.

...oh. But I do. I had been kind of dumb in the beginning about it. Like, all I wanted was to hurt her for hurting the people I care about. And that's still the case, because she's done it to more and more of them. But I'm not going to rush in there like a fool. I know we're not evenly matched... but she's not going to get the best of me. I don't lose, not when this is what I need to come out on top on.

And, again, this isn't something that's going to happen anytime soon, but... I'd like it if you were there with me. I'm not asking you to join me in fighting her or anything. But... [ her shoulders sag a bit. ] ...one of the reasons I don't see myself following any other road is because, back home, I... I died, and that chapter of my life came to a close. This is my second chance.

But... what about the logistics of it? Is replacing her the only option? Does Hell truly need someone like her to exist?

It depends. Hell, itself, no... probably not. But because of all of us... yeah. Like, I don't expecting the production to keeping running as is. I know a few people here have aspirations of their own. Like taking over heaven and hell and... whatever. B we're not supposed to be here, and I imagine that if the production falls apart we're still going to need to avoid getting completely fucked by this place. It's her job to slap a hell bandaid on us in the form of [ motions to herself. ] when that does inevitably happen...

I guess though... I'm not really sure how things are going to play out, but she's got to go, and I want to be the one to do it. If her job isn't completely necessary, then I'll find something else to do.

... you sound like you're committed to it.

I... I don't like to talk about it, but... seeing what happened to me kind of, it... it sort of messed me up for a while. [ she gets up and grabs her arm, taking a couple of steps away. ] It's like my spark was suddenly snuffed again. And I felt lost. I need a reason to keep on marching forward and... maybe this Lady Death thing has become a bit more personal. I don't like how things are run. Death is... fuck, it's traumatizing on it's own and then, like, you get a nightmare and a corruption and a fucken pat on the ass. I hate it. I hate her.

[ she takes a couple of uneven breaths to try to relax. ] ...and then I have people here that I could never abandon. [ squeezes her arm. ] Like you, and stuff.

[sits on the floor, watching her]

I'm... lucky to have you protecting me.

Heroes Never Die.

I'll be there even when all of the others have failed.

You won't be alone. I can't... promise anything. But I... wouldn't want you to be alone.

It's not about me. Not this. It's about... you. I just meant that I'll be your shield. [ she just stands there for another couple of moments before turning back around and wandering over to take a seat beside him. ] But we don't have to talk about this anymore. Who knows what's going to happen. I'm just glad for right now. You make me happy.