[imeeji] overflow

[selfpreservationist]

Comments

[failedsafe]

Presumptions or not, you have a perspective no one else will have. I don't think it's wrong to stand behind that, even if you both have different experiences, too. When you see him get like that, what do you do?

[selfpreservationist]

I get angry. I yell at him. I think about shaking him, strangling him.

And... it makes me... sad.

[failedsafe]

[That's rough.]

Have you tried to manage that? What calms you down?

[selfpreservationist]

I... usually just go back to my room and rest. Arguing with Vergil always wears me out.

[failedsafe]

Mm. That does sound tiring. [Still rubbing him.]

Have you tried being sincere?

[selfpreservationist]

The only thing I'm not sincere about is my wanting to sleep with him.

[failedsafe]

Mmmmmnope, try again.

[DISBELIEF]

[selfpreservationist]

[HUFF]

I'm not dishonest with him. What are you suggesting I do?

[failedsafe]

It's not so much the dishonesty, I just think, the fact that you desperately don't want to be seen as weak or pathetic to him of all people especially might be hindering you. Both of you, thinking about it.

[selfpreservationist]

Every time... I've shown him my weakness, he's rejected me.

1/2

[failedsafe]

I'm gonna beat him up. Or pelt him with marshmallows.

2/2

[failedsafe]

[and seriously:]

That's not your fault, I want to say first of all. It's not easy to be rejected like that, and there's an added dimension of complication here, too. He is making a lot of progress, though, so don't give up hope. He is, ultimately, a sentimental bougie glass case of emotion who wants to be cared for.

[selfpreservationist]

... I know. And... I'm... not being entirely fair to him. He hasn't always rejected me. But it's something I am... afraid of.

[failedsafe]

[just going to give him a hug, honestly]

[selfpreservationist]

[surprised trill!

...

returns it, after a moment, winding one winged arm around her]

[failedsafe]

You're really brave, you know. And I'm glad he was there for you.

[selfpreservationist]

What makes you think I'm brave?

[failedsafe]

You're still trying, even though you're scared.

[selfpreservationist]

If I let everything that scared me stop me from pursuing what I want... I'd never have survived.

[failedsafe]

Yeah, that's understandable and admirable. I'm sure you guys will understand each other one day.

[selfpreservationist]

You're far more optimistic than I am.

[failedsafe]

Yep! I'm not saying don't be realistic or whatever, but if you dwell on the negative you're giving it energy and power instead of what you actually want.

[selfpreservationist]

I keep my power to myself--little though it may be.

...

I had a thought just now.

[failedsafe]

Yeah, what is it?

[selfpreservationist]

What if I... want to love the part of him he hates about himself? What if that's why I long for him? As though he might be willing to see... the good in his humanity... if someone cherished it.