selfpreservationist | [imeeji - overflow content and nsfw]

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[imeeji - overflow content and nsfw]

OH THAT'S A SPICY MEATBALL

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... does it burden you?

[that makes her head jerk up to look at him]

No!

[her eyes are wide and alarmed for a moment, and then her expression dissolves into something else as she struggles for words]

It—if anything it's the opposite. I don't know how to describe it... it's like... it makes me feel so light and happy, when you say you love me. Like... like nothing else ever. Like if I have that feeling it can carry me through anything.

But if I let it carry me, then... I'll get carried away... It'll be too much, and if I lose it, I'll fall... But it doesn't matter, because I can't do anything about it. You can knock me off my feet with a few words, like it's nothing.

...

What if you don't? Get carried away and fall, that is.

[her mouth opens and then closes again a few times]

...I don't know. What happens then...?

... I don't know either.

[makes another noise, half snort and half something else]

You're supposed to be the one who knows about these things.

Am I? I don't recall saying anything about that.

You've read all your books and poems.

That doesn't give me all the answers to life's mysteries. If it did, perhaps I'd have an easier time of things.

[brushes some hair from her face]

I think... it's alright... to let yourself be happy, even if things are... uncertain. That is something... I'm struggling with, myself.

[She tilts her head into the motion as she thinks about that for a few seconds]

...It's not just that. If I feel that strongly, I feel like... I should be doing something about it. More than just telling you I love you too. More than... even this.

But I don't know what that is... that would show you how I feel, and not... mess things up.

You don't have to measure yourself against anyone. Especially not me. The way you are... is part of why... I love you. I don't need you... to change anything about yourself... for me. If you wish to change, that's one thing, but... you're not lacking when it comes to expressing your feelings.

...You can say that. People say that a lot—that I'm fine at expressing my feelings—and then five minutes later I tell them something about my feelings and they say... oh, I didn't know you felt like that.

I don't know... if you really know. And... I want to show you more, either way.

... then, show me.

I don't know how.

You shouldn't let that stop you. Do you think any of the rest of this family thinks before they try something?

And you're all so great at expressing your feelings to each other.

We're... better than we used to be.

That's true, but that's a very low bar.

I can't dispute that.

...

[huffs a little]

It's true, though, that that's... part of why I fit in.

I'll just have to try, and if it's a complete disaster... at least I didn't stab you or something.

That's the spirit.

[he pecks her lips]

[she lets out a short laugh, and then kisses him in return, lingering slightly longer but still keeping it to a simple meeting of their lips.]

[he's plenty happy to indulge in a long and warm kiss with her for a bit]

[when she breaks away, she drops a few more light kisses down his neck before sighing against him]

I am... so glad that you're back.

... I'm glad... that I'm back, with you.

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