[imeeji] IC inbox

[selfpreservationist]

[This is an IC inbox for V/Raven, who cannot be bothered to set one up for himself.]

Comments

Re: Early 304

[gigadevilbreaker]

...Do I feel, what?

Complete?

Re: Early 304

[selfpreservationist]

[shakes his head again]

It's nothing. Something for me to ponder over, not you.

Re: Early 304

[gigadevilbreaker]

You can think about it out loud... I wanna know what's bothering you.

Re: Early 304

[selfpreservationist]

... was it... worth it?

Re: Early 304

[gigadevilbreaker]

...

Was it worth what it did to my other relationships, you mean?

Re: Early 304

[selfpreservationist]

[nods silently]

Re: Early 304

[gigadevilbreaker]

[He thinks on this]

...I think, I was always the type of person who feels more comfortable dedicating myself to one committed relationship. Getting with multiple people, that-- that happened because I felt like it was expected here. I had to unlearn so many things that I thought it was just another hang-up that was wrong.

In the end, accepting that I can't make everyone happy, but... things would be okay anyways, it was freeing. But that's because I was like this t'begin with, not because marriage magically changed something in me.

Re: Early 304

[selfpreservationist]

... I see. And you're... happy, like this?

Re: Early 304

[gigadevilbreaker]

...I am. 'Cause it feels-- right.

Re: Early 304

[selfpreservationist]

...

Good.

Re: Early 304

[gigadevilbreaker]

[A brief melancholy passes over his face]

It is a lot to ask from Jason, though. I'll never not be thankful to him for putting up with that.

Re: Early 304

[selfpreservationist]

He's lucky to have you.

Re: Early 304

[gigadevilbreaker]

...

I've floated the idea of coming home with me to him, too. I think it's still at a no.

Re: Early 304

[selfpreservationist]

Really? Why not?

Re: Early 304

[gigadevilbreaker]

He... can't imagine having that hope for himself.

Re: Early 304

[selfpreservationist]

...

[lowers his gaze and lets out a quiet chuckle]

Oh. Is that how it is.

Re: Early 304

[gigadevilbreaker]

[Raises a brow, faintly confused by the chuckle]

What?

Re: Early 304

[selfpreservationist]

It's nothing, I just... sympathize with that sort of feeling, quite deeply.

Re: Early 304

[gigadevilbreaker]

[An exasperated groan,]

You guys... fuckin' love yourselves, a little.

Re: Early 304

[selfpreservationist]

I'm getting better at it. But... Nero. Think of how you feel at the suggestion of being promiscuous. It's as if a vice grip has formed around your heart, and you cannot help but react strongly, emotionally.

That's how it feels... to be so audacious as to have hope.

Re: Early 304

[gigadevilbreaker]

I know... I know it's-- almost impossible to break away from that, no matter what people tell you.

If only you two could see what I see. You deserve so much more.

Re: Early 304

[selfpreservationist]

Perhaps it takes someone like you to see the value in people like us. Ah, but I shouldn't speak for him.

Re: Early 304

[gigadevilbreaker]

Well... he's the reason I learned how to recognize those habits in people.

Re: Early 304

[selfpreservationist]

Call it a twist of fate, then.

... I hope he'll... come around.

Re: Early 304

[gigadevilbreaker]

[vibrates]

He keeps being transferred. He was back for like, a day before he got taken away again. At this rate...

[what if he's gone forever :(((]